Category Archives: baseball

The Wichita Wingnuts via Photographs – @ChrisTrew

We left Kansas City late because we went to the Negro League Baseball Museum. Then we got to Wichita even latter because we stopped in Lawrence to eat food then took a wrong turn. Then we left Wichita immediately after the final out to sample Stillwater, Oklahoma nightlife. Our time with the Wichita Wingnuts was limited but it was our favorite minor league park of the trip (barely edging Memphis). Photos be coming!

Let’s get this out of the way.

This guy had a radar gun and Chris Carrington said he wants a radar gun really bad and that he would radar everything so can someone please get him a radar gun and see if he is telling the truth? Maybe just get him a broken one and see how many things he points it at?

These kids had a homerun hitting contest but the ball was on a tee and they were facing the wrong direction and to get a “homerun” all you had to do was hit it on top of the net. Kids just don’t understand.

These seats reserved for Oscar the Grouch, Duke the Dumpster and that band with that song “stupid girl.”

Chris Carrington said he loved Wichita (mainly because he had to wear a jacket to guard against the chill) but then this happened and he start cussing it. He’s moody.

I lingered here for about 10 minutes waiting for my souvenir homerun ball to land perfectly in my pocket but it didn’t happen. I have two games left to catch the ultimate souvenir and I can already feel the tears forming.

At least I have this. Here’s me and Spinner, he’s a giant squirrel. There was also some light green snot ghoul who made a brief appearance and kids had to have a bag full of garbage to meet him. That sentence is 100% real.

Hey Wichita – GREAT JOB GUYS.

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The Kansas City Royals via Photographs – @ChrisTrew

I’m a KC fan. Been here a handful of times, my favorite BBQ in the world is here and this park is super fun. Let’s put our crown on and march inside!

Hall of? Hall of WHAT? Hall of Halls Medicine? Hall of Terror? Hall of 1985? WHAT IS IT…

Judging by this crazy man’s getup, it’s clearly a Hall of Fame. We spent 30 minutes in here that felt like 5 and that could have been 300. Super awesome, even though this man is there when you first walk in and he’s really aggressive. I would be to if I was a baseball player from the early 1900’s who stuck in 2012, I guess.

The Indianapolis Clowns?!? What, did the catchers paint big mouths around their own little mouths? Did the first base coach make first basement smell the flower on his uniform? I have to stop myself.

Garth Brooks is from Kansas City, Kansas but Chris Gains is from Kansas City, Missouri so this makes sense. (credit: Chris Carrington)

This is the gift that France sent over to Kansas City after the war and Kansas City became cowtown.

A kid was walking by this and the man who’s life is defined by nobody ever touching this said, “no touching, please don’t touch” and the kid’s dad was a cool dad and a little like whatever so he said something like “maybe next time, son” and the man who’s life is defined by nobody ever touching this said “no touching EVER”. I was there to remember the whole thing.

Pattern broken.

Pattern restored and heightened!

This guy worked at the team shop. He was not helpful but he’s probably be cool to party with.

This is where we were for the last inning because…

WHOA!!!! YOU GO GIRL! THANKS KC!

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The St. Louis Cardinals via Photographs – @ChrisTrew

I’ve been to St. Louis many times before but never to Busch Stadium! I am tickled. Let’s cover our armpits and scoot inside.

These guys have been pretty successful and man do they remind you about it at every turn. I suppose that’s what you should do. I still have my High School Talent Show certificate framed in my office and my hallways and my bathroom and my master bedroom. Also, I made copies of my High School Talent Show certificate. Second place.

This is the actual World Series trophy which is a pretty big deal. These dumb kids in front of it don’t understand how big of a deal it is. These kids don’t know anything. They were saying dumb stuff and they clearly didn’t choose their outfits. I followed them to their seats and they just wouldn’t shutup about things that just don’t matter at all in the long run. 

Here is where all the St. Louis Cardinal wives bring their fruits, vegetables and fridge magnets to sell to baseball fans. All the good stuff is gone by the 2nd inning though.

Excellent pattern work by Chris Carrington.

These should be at every sports arena so that assholes can make the same jokes about getting their friend a build-a-bear and then one day a man will reveal that he has actually build his own bear and he thoroughly enjoyed the entire process mainly the customization options they give you and he truly actually loves that bear he built.

Jokes over. Beautiful baseball park. I’d go back. Only thing that would make it better is the Arch coming out of center field but yeah, I know.

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The Nashville Sounds via Photographs – @ChrisTrew

My first time in Nashville! Lots to see and do but here is the main event, an evening with the Nashville Sounds. Here’s dem photographs of that there park.

 

 

Chris Carrington insisted on making the same sad face he made with a similar trinket in Memphis and I insisted on calling out the game. Your move, Carrington.

 

This man was facing the wrong way during most of the game and I didn’t have the heart to tell him.

 

The lady selling Funnel Cakes had them in a plastic tub and this station was empty. Just a pile of oils hanging out. Did the lady selling cakes work for the team? Who let her in? Are these Funnel Cakes sanctioned? I do not want to eat these Funnel Cakes.

 

 

If you listened to our podcast you know these kids were being real racist and I called them out. Immediately afterwards a homerun was blasted over the center field wall. As we learned in Memphis, I have powers.

 

Not sure why these are bear paws and not music notes but there ya go. Maybe an actual bear stepped in actual paint and walked through the park in a straight line? Probably.

 

I vote Thumbs Up on the guitar scoreboard. If you’re in Nashville you gotta do this. There’s probably some sort of cactus screen in Phoenix and there’s probably some sort of traffic jam bleacher area in Atlanta. Carrington said he’d feel better about this if the guitar was turned upright and there was a video screen on it.

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The Memphis Redbirds Via Photographs – @ChrisTrew

The first time I ever drove through downtown Memphis I saw this park and I thought to myself in italics “did Memphis used to have a pro team here? How did I not know that? This is the kind of information I retain with ease”. Okay, it’s not that big but at first glance I thought it was. Maybe it’s because minor league ballparks aren’t typically downtown. But then again that may be a fact I made up. Yeah, let’s just look at some pictures.

The park is called Autozone Park which has got to be one of the most uncool sponsors. It’s not a technology company or a company that ships shit all over the globe or a laser making company or something that sounds like its own planet. It’s a store that fixes stuff and smells like a car hospital. I’m also not nuts about this giant old man as the Memphis logo. I’m digging the old school vibe of the place, yeah, but Redbirds are much cooler than OldDudes. I also would have heavily considered calling this park The Zone or the Get in the Zone Park because (I think) that is the Autozone slogan.

Here’s Chris Carrington posing with this strange thing. He looks pretty casual I guess.

We’re gonna be seat hopping all week long but this was the very first place we plopped. #34 itched his asshole a lot and at the end of the game during a crucial moment I yelled at him and on the ensuing play he dropped the ball and a run scored. I realized then what powers I possess as a fan sitting in the outfield and I must use these powers wisely or I will ruin the sport of baseball which will piss a lot of people off and ruin lots of lives.

This is a movie quote, I know, but is it something else? Am I missing something? Is the Bird talking to us? Does the Memphis Redbird typically wonder how everyone else is doing? Is this a character trait? This banner was hung in several places so they want us to wonder these things.

All the rage on Foursquare was the BBQ Nachos here. I didn’t get any because I ate a subpar burger before the game but I did manage to sneak this photo of this guy eating them. The eyeballs on his knee won’t be getting any sun, that’s for sure.

YOU GO INTO HIS FOOT THEN JUMP INSIDE HIS STOMACH YOU ENTER THE GIANT BIRDS STOMACH THROUGH THE SOLE OF HIS FOOT

The girl at the top was leaning on a recycling bin, drinking a plastic bottle of water, finished the water then threw it in the trash can next to her. I thought this was absurd but then she asked if she could touch my beard and I thought this was cool. She touched it, I took a picture of her and we’re almost done here.

No souvenirs were purchased in Memphis but Chris was tempted here, despite his dead hamster frown.

The Redbirds lost in a close game that went by pretty fast. Good start to Platinum Diamonds! Look at that graffiti!