Dear Full Blooded, – @ChrisTrew

Dear Full Blooded,

I wrote the below for a blog I’m writing with my friend Chris Carrington. I’m not very nice about your album but then again I don’t think you put a lot of effort into this. So, yeah, 10+ years later you’re still getting google alerts about it. Sorry.

– Chris

When I was collecting decent paychecks every other week in high school from my Winn-Dixie stint (wrangling carts to dressing shelves to cashiering to deli’ing – that’s heightening) I had so much disposable income there was only two choices.

#1. Save the money
#2. Buy every No Limit CD every single week and also lots of Smoothies and Putt-Putt games

Since I’m a real life party animal I went with option #2 and I still would do the same thing to this very day. There was one instance, however, that I will never forget. The day I purchased Full Blooded Memorial Day against the advice of my best friends.

Full Blooded wasn’t a guest on very many No Limit albums and when he was he stunk up the place pretty bad. He was like a bulldog let loose at a party for golden retrievers only. Both are fine breeds of dog but that bulldog doesn’t know how to interact with the disciplined retrievers. Plus all these retrievers are at least a little gold and Full Blooded sold like, 60 albums.

Okay, fine, he sold more than that but not much more. It’s widely known as one of the most unsuccessful albums in the history of No Limit and after a pastry puff sophomore release Full Blooded disappeared. At least there was that time he was all “hey, how about I’m a giant who digs up graves for my album cover” and then nobody said “bad idea”. I’m sure that album is framed nicely somewheres special.

Here’s the track listing for the album with my thoughts in bold.

  1. “Dog Shit”- 2:10 one of the worst starts to an album of all time
  2. “Quickest Way to Die”- 4:13 (Featuring Mo B. Dick) forgettable 
  3. “Foes Bleed Bullets”- 3:25 (Featuring Hounds Of Gert Town) hilarious title
  4. “Sleep No More”- 3:56 (Featuring Hounds Of Gert Town) zzzzzzzzz
  5. “Same Ole Nigga”- 3:03 yup
  6. “I’m Gonna Hustle”- 3:57 (Featuring C-Murder & Big Edbut not when it comes to writing songs
  7. “Out of Sight, Out of Mind”- 4:10 (Featuring Dolliole & Ms. Peacheshard to get stains out
  8. “My Day Gon Come”- 3:54 (Featuring Mo B. Dick) uncomfortable
  9. “Gangsta Shit”- 3:40 (Featuring Snoop Doggoh, right
  10. “Bad Dreams”- 4:13 (Featuring Camouflage & Nite Tymeuncomfortable part 2
  11. “Head Busting”- 4:03 (Featuring Camouflage & Nite Tymeyeah, okay
  12. “Red Rum”- 4:17 (Featuring Nite Tymethe only even slightly clever title and the chorus is a rip off
  13. “Give ‘Em Some”- 4:32 some what
  14. “Dogfight”- 3:22 (Featuring Ghetto Commissionnot good
  15. “Count Down”- 3:59 (Featuring Camouflage & Steady Mobb’nto the end of the album
  16. “Full Blooded”- 4:00 (Featuring Camouflage & Nite Tymeeject
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Memphis Round Up

This is a round up of everything we did in Memphis:

For Chris Trew’s thoughts on 504 Boys and Big Ed check out: Long Live Big Ed

Chris Carrington comes to terms with his fake love of Mr Serv-On: Remembering Mr Serv-On

Carrington and Trew breakdown Memphis and the ArenaBowl: Podcast Episode 1 – Memphis

Chris Trew surveys Autozone Park in Memphis through pictures: The Memphis Redbirds Via Photographs

Trew to the Game made a video: At the ArenaBowl

The secret real reason for the trip, What did Platinum Diamonds eat: Memphis Food

Remembering Mr. Serv-On @Crappington

In high school when we were first getting in to No Limit, we all picked who our favorite rapper was.  I wasn’t going to be a conformist and say P or Mystikal, so I decided to just arbitrarily pick one of No Limit’s deep cuts: Mr Serv-On.  Once I made this decision I went hardcore.  “Da Next Level” was the third album I bought in my life (The fourth was Serv’s earlier release “Life Insurance.  The fifth was Lil’ Soldiers “Boot Camp” which will definitely be a future post).  I raved about how good this album was to anyone who would listen.

So I was particularly invested when we fired up “Da Next Level” today on the drive to Memphis.  I was kind of hoping that this listen would prove that occasionally you can go home again and I would love Mr Serv-On as much today as I did in 10th grade.  Unfortunately, none of these things happened.

Now I had sort of seen this coming because in my heart of hearts I knew all those years ago I was faking my love of Serv.  Even then I could tell he didn’t seem to understand how to match a beat or how to write lyrics that created a coherent song theme, but I had planted my flag and stuck to my convictions that Serv was the best of the No Limit rappers.

This listen through thoroughly exposed that fiction.   I can’t pretend anymore.  I have to admit that Mr. Serv-On isn’t that good, and that at 15 I was just being stubborn and trying to play the “Oh you just aren’t smart enough to get why he is so good” card to feel cooler.  I can also use the rest of the time on the Platinum Diamonds trip to crown my new favorite No  Limit rapper, and this time it will be for all the right reasons.

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The Memphis Redbirds Via Photographs – @ChrisTrew

The first time I ever drove through downtown Memphis I saw this park and I thought to myself in italics “did Memphis used to have a pro team here? How did I not know that? This is the kind of information I retain with ease”. Okay, it’s not that big but at first glance I thought it was. Maybe it’s because minor league ballparks aren’t typically downtown. But then again that may be a fact I made up. Yeah, let’s just look at some pictures.

The park is called Autozone Park which has got to be one of the most uncool sponsors. It’s not a technology company or a company that ships shit all over the globe or a laser making company or something that sounds like its own planet. It’s a store that fixes stuff and smells like a car hospital. I’m also not nuts about this giant old man as the Memphis logo. I’m digging the old school vibe of the place, yeah, but Redbirds are much cooler than OldDudes. I also would have heavily considered calling this park The Zone or the Get in the Zone Park because (I think) that is the Autozone slogan.

Here’s Chris Carrington posing with this strange thing. He looks pretty casual I guess.

We’re gonna be seat hopping all week long but this was the very first place we plopped. #34 itched his asshole a lot and at the end of the game during a crucial moment I yelled at him and on the ensuing play he dropped the ball and a run scored. I realized then what powers I possess as a fan sitting in the outfield and I must use these powers wisely or I will ruin the sport of baseball which will piss a lot of people off and ruin lots of lives.

This is a movie quote, I know, but is it something else? Am I missing something? Is the Bird talking to us? Does the Memphis Redbird typically wonder how everyone else is doing? Is this a character trait? This banner was hung in several places so they want us to wonder these things.

All the rage on Foursquare was the BBQ Nachos here. I didn’t get any because I ate a subpar burger before the game but I did manage to sneak this photo of this guy eating them. The eyeballs on his knee won’t be getting any sun, that’s for sure.

YOU GO INTO HIS FOOT THEN JUMP INSIDE HIS STOMACH YOU ENTER THE GIANT BIRDS STOMACH THROUGH THE SOLE OF HIS FOOT

The girl at the top was leaning on a recycling bin, drinking a plastic bottle of water, finished the water then threw it in the trash can next to her. I thought this was absurd but then she asked if she could touch my beard and I thought this was cool. She touched it, I took a picture of her and we’re almost done here.

No souvenirs were purchased in Memphis but Chris was tempted here, despite his dead hamster frown.

The Redbirds lost in a close game that went by pretty fast. Good start to Platinum Diamonds! Look at that graffiti!

Long Live Big Ed – @ChrisTrew

Last time I was in Memphis I had a show at a venue with a really cool marquee and really cool windows, neither of which had posters for our show and we had very low attendance. Still, I have high hopes for Memphis. If I can drive to and from Austin/Houston as often as I do, why not add Memphis to the mix. It’s an easy peasy 6 hour skip from New Orleans to here.

We listened to 504 Boyz first since they have 504 in the name and we were in New Orleans when we pressed play and because we are really clever and poetic. This album was really, really unforgettable and I don’t see myself ever listening to it again for the rest of my life. I also ate some cashews which were unremarkable themselves but I see myself eating cashews from time to time if they are laying around and I am hungry. I never see myself listening to this album again, even if it is laying around and I am hungry.

Next was Big Ed. I really like Big Ed. He’s definitely in my top 10 favorite No Limit Albums of all time. I used to get laughed at when I threw out those words in High School but who’s laughing now (probably nobody). Big Ed has some serious staying power. He is rarely outperformed by his guests (a staple on all other No Limit “Solder” Songs, which include between 6 and 45 other rappers guest appearing), he has fun choruses (mostly about killing or fucking but still) and dude just sounds really excited that he dropped out of Eastern Washington University to pursue a rap career and was kinda successful at doing so. He was on a basketball scholarship too, so he really was actually tall (or Big) and all those people who think he named himself after his favorite Tom Hanks movie can now all take a nap. Fool I thought I told you, I’ll knock your head up off your shoulders (with my defense of Big Ed using Big Ed lyrics).

Fella passed away in 2001 which I didn’t know until doing research for this post. He died of cancer at 30 years old and that makes me sad. But this song below makes me happy because it reminds me of running track in high school. Long live the Biggest of all Eds!

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