Tag Archives: albums

Lil’ Soliders vs Snoop Dogg: A Tale of the Tape – @crappington

In Kansas the City, we listened to Lil’ Soldiers – Boot Camp.  This was one of only 3 No Limit albums I owned.  In Kansas the State, we listened to Snoop Dogg – Da Game Is To Be Sold, Not To Be Told.  One of 1000 No Limit albums that Chris Trew owned.  On the face of it, these two albums don’t seem to have a lot in common, but they have always been linked in my mind as the two novelty No Limit albums.  Now it is time to scientifically break them down and determine which is the better.

Release Date

Snoop Dogg: August 4, 1998

Lil’ Soldiers: April 27, 1999

Breakdown:  Da Game was released first and was the third album released by one of rap’s biggest names.  Boot Camp came out later and was produced by Adults who by that time had made probably 250 albums.

Winner:

The Adults should have known better.

Number of Tracks

Snoop Dogg: 21

Lil’ Soldiers: 17

Breakdown: 16 of the 21 tracks on Da Game featured other No Limit artists.  Da Game also featured two sequel tracks to more famous early Snoop songs: “Still a G Thang” and “Gin and Juice II” (wikipedia’s notes on the album says Gin and Juice II tends to be a sequel.).  Boot Camp only had 6 songs with other No Limit artists.  The also decided not to create sequels to any classic rap songs.

Winner:

For No Limit, quantity never equaled quality.  Plus, fuck you Snoop for tarnishing the memory of some of my favorite songs in your catalog.

Best Track

Snoop Dogg: Woof

Lil’ Soldiers: School on Lock

Breakdown: Woof freatured Fiend and Mystkal (two of my favorites).  The chorus was : Woof Motherfucker Woof.  Bow Wow Wow Yippie Oh Yippie Ay.  It is also the best example of how Snoops real laid back flow could contrast really well with the more aggro No Limit Rappers.  It also ends with 45 seconds of Bow Wow Wow Yippie Oh Yippie Ays while someone just mutters bitch in the background.  School on Lock doesn’t have any guests.  However it does contain what sounds like the lines: “We be gettin’ snacks while ya’ll are sayin’ jack” and “Meanwhile all the kids in my grade drink lemonade”.  The song also ends with them arguing which grade has the school on lock.  One of the Lil’ soldiers presents a pretty strong case for his grade having the school on lock because, “Our tests are harder than your’s/Our girls are bigger than your’s.”

Winner:

Seriously Snoop! Bow Wow Wow Yippie Oh Yippie Ay!  You had only made 2 albums before this.  You can’t already be out of ideas this early in the game.

Album Art Work

Snoop Dogg:

Lil’ Soldiers:

Breakdown: Da Game is Pen and Pixel art at its best.  Snoop sitting on a throne in front of a giant mansion with his name on it!  Seriously look at that mansion.  It has a rotunda as the entrance.  He also has 2 dogs.  One is clearly a danger because he has to be muzzled even sitting in the front yard, but Snoop rolls so deep even that muzzle is diamond studded.  These things are the definition of having fat stacks.  Boot Camp has a cool action figure/toy theme going on.  I love the bad ass dollar store dinosaur that is trying to take a bite out of the soldiers.  Good thing that Soldier has a nerf sucker dart to defend himself!

Winner:

Seriously, look at that damn thing. He has a diamond studded cane made of gold!

Wikipedia Article Word Count

Snoop Dogg: 994

Lil’ Soldiers: 202

Breakdown.  Everything comes down to the final category and this one is a straight numbers game.  The Snoop article is way more in depth.  You can learn who produced each track, who wrote each track, or which songs were singles.  The Lil’ Soldiers article just has a brief history of how the soldiers released this one album and then disappeared and a track list.  You can also find out that Boot Camp hit 80 on the Billboard R&B chart.  Pretty good for some kids.

Winner:

Seriously no one should spend 1000 words on Da Game.  It is the shittiest album. The album marked the decline of No Limit and the tarnishing of one of raps early greats (Also, thanks Snoop for taking a dump on all those classic hits!) .  So in a stunning 3 – 2 victory, Platinum Diamonds crowns Lil’ Soldiers – Boot Camp as the best of all the No Limit novelty albums

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The Five Faces of Mystikal – @crappington

On the drive between Kansas City and Wichita, we listened to Mystikal’s Unpredictable.  In honor of this solid No Limit Album, I have decided to try to do something no man has done before and predict what Mystikal is thinking based only on his facial expression. This Mystikal is thinking that he shouldn’t have had that second helping of Sweet Potatoes.  He is so full and the Lion’s are getting blown out again.  He always overdoes it on thanksgiving.

This Mystikal is thinking about how tired of hearing you talk about season 3 of the wire he is.

This Mystikal is thinking how happy he is you recognized that his Halloween costume was a penny.

This Mystikal is thinking about the plight of Ai Weiwei in China.  He doesn’t think a man’s family should be threatened because he speaks his mind.

This Mystikal is thinking that everyone is laughing at him because he has a stain on his shirt.

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Mo B. Dick – Intercourse The best worst song – @crappington

One of things I was dreading/most looking forward to on this trip was listening Mo B. Dick’s Gangsta Harmony.  Every time a No Limit song called for a crappy R&B chorus, Mo B. Dick would show up and just kind of spill pretty generic late 90’s slow jams over the track.  There usually wasn’t anything to get excited about or really to hate.  I figured this is exactly what his album would be like, and nothing on it really changed my mind.  Except for one song.  Intercourse.  I present to you below the lyrics to the song with my commentary in italics.

I just wanna fuck with you
Do the thing that porn stars do
Yeah, I just wanna fuck with you
Do the thing that porn stars do

Well this just gets right to the point doesn’t it?  Even in 2000 a year after Intercourse’s release, society was barely only able to tolerate the Bloodhound Gang doing it like mammals.  I am impressed that we were able to all hold it together when this came out.

Let’s get buck naked baby
And make love like you never done before
Let’s do each other like dogs do each other
You know how I like it baby
Turn around and let me hit it from the back

I guess this is pretty standard rap talk, but like 90% of the other artists at least try to make it funny or a little more tactful.  Mo B. Dick just amped up the piano licks and went all out
Let me slide it around
I wanna see your pretty brown rump
Just go up and down, ohhhhh

For my sanity, please no one ever define any of this for me.  I need some things to be a mystery
I just wanna fuck with you
Do the thing that porn stars do
I just wanna fuck with you
Do the thing that porn stars do
I just wanna fuck with you
Do the thing that porn stars do

Kind of disappointed this chorus wasn’t heightened.  I was hoping for something about BDSM and a line like “Do the thing that legally registered sex offenders do”

Just because it’s two o’clock, don’t mean that we gotta stop
So baby let’s continue, cause I’m so deep up in you
Just because it’s two o’clock, don’t mean that we gotta stop
So baby let’s continue, cause I’m so deep up in you

Wait why do they have to stop at 2?  Is it 2am and the bar is closing?  Is it 2pm and Mo’s lunch break is over?  Either way it seems like he could have timed this interaction a lot better.  Mo needs to work on his  sexual time management.

Girl it’s ok the way you ride this smooth
They way you go front, back, side to side
Doin freaky things as we bump and grind
Throw your legs up in the air
Do it to each other like we just don’t care
Come on baby, I’m hard as a rock
Uh, ah, baby don’t stop, no

Oh, I guess that second  to last line shows that this song is all about the love of Mo’s life.

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Mean Greens, Cornbread & Cabbage – @Crappington

The first album we listened to on the way to Nashville was Kane and Abel’s “Am I My Brother’s Keeper.”  This is an album that I don’t remember to well.  The only thing that stuck with me was that I wasn’t a huge fan of Kane and Abel.  This go round showed me why I don’t remember it.  Kane and Abel are kind of boring.  They don’t really have cool choruses.  The twin rapping thing isn’t really a fun gimmick because it just means that most of the time they rap in unison, but 90% of No Limit songs are overdubbed.  Also in retrospect it is hard to really get in to the album when I know that these guys went to jail for 3 years for refusing to work with prosecutors to bring down a drug kingpin who was accused of murder.

All that being said though, I love the song Greens, Cornebread, & Cabbage.  It has a super fun chorus, a still kind of engaged Master P guesting and a pretty neat beat that kind of feels like springs or worms or something.

The second album we listened to was the Mean Green Compilation.  I also didn’t remember this one, but Trew assured me that it was one of the better ones.  I totally agree after this go through.  I liked that each song had a different set of artists so it never got stale.  It kicked off with a really badass MAC and Fiend Duet.  These are two of the most solid No Limit rappers and I really felt like they nailed it.
The highlight of the album is Mystikal song called “Thats the Nigga.”  This song is just straight up full on crazy.  There are no other guest stars and it contains some awesome lines like:

I throw em off, I’m two scoops for coo coo
I swoosh through your froot loops, poo poo in your fubu
That’s right Mystikal is saying that he is going to come to your house, knock over your froot loops, and shit on your clothes.  But he isn’t done because once he is in your house he is also going to:

Stop your water turn off your gas cut off your lights
Move you out, cut your grass, watch your kids, fuck your wife

And if he hadn’t already ruined your life enough Mystikal is also wants you to know this about him:

I’m the thief in the night that slide your drawers off ya
It sucks that Mystikal has to ruin your life, but at least he left you such a cool song to remember it by.

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Dear Full Blooded, – @ChrisTrew

Dear Full Blooded,

I wrote the below for a blog I’m writing with my friend Chris Carrington. I’m not very nice about your album but then again I don’t think you put a lot of effort into this. So, yeah, 10+ years later you’re still getting google alerts about it. Sorry.

– Chris

When I was collecting decent paychecks every other week in high school from my Winn-Dixie stint (wrangling carts to dressing shelves to cashiering to deli’ing – that’s heightening) I had so much disposable income there was only two choices.

#1. Save the money
#2. Buy every No Limit CD every single week and also lots of Smoothies and Putt-Putt games

Since I’m a real life party animal I went with option #2 and I still would do the same thing to this very day. There was one instance, however, that I will never forget. The day I purchased Full Blooded Memorial Day against the advice of my best friends.

Full Blooded wasn’t a guest on very many No Limit albums and when he was he stunk up the place pretty bad. He was like a bulldog let loose at a party for golden retrievers only. Both are fine breeds of dog but that bulldog doesn’t know how to interact with the disciplined retrievers. Plus all these retrievers are at least a little gold and Full Blooded sold like, 60 albums.

Okay, fine, he sold more than that but not much more. It’s widely known as one of the most unsuccessful albums in the history of No Limit and after a pastry puff sophomore release Full Blooded disappeared. At least there was that time he was all “hey, how about I’m a giant who digs up graves for my album cover” and then nobody said “bad idea”. I’m sure that album is framed nicely somewheres special.

Here’s the track listing for the album with my thoughts in bold.

  1. “Dog Shit”- 2:10 one of the worst starts to an album of all time
  2. “Quickest Way to Die”- 4:13 (Featuring Mo B. Dick) forgettable 
  3. “Foes Bleed Bullets”- 3:25 (Featuring Hounds Of Gert Town) hilarious title
  4. “Sleep No More”- 3:56 (Featuring Hounds Of Gert Town) zzzzzzzzz
  5. “Same Ole Nigga”- 3:03 yup
  6. “I’m Gonna Hustle”- 3:57 (Featuring C-Murder & Big Edbut not when it comes to writing songs
  7. “Out of Sight, Out of Mind”- 4:10 (Featuring Dolliole & Ms. Peacheshard to get stains out
  8. “My Day Gon Come”- 3:54 (Featuring Mo B. Dick) uncomfortable
  9. “Gangsta Shit”- 3:40 (Featuring Snoop Doggoh, right
  10. “Bad Dreams”- 4:13 (Featuring Camouflage & Nite Tymeuncomfortable part 2
  11. “Head Busting”- 4:03 (Featuring Camouflage & Nite Tymeyeah, okay
  12. “Red Rum”- 4:17 (Featuring Nite Tymethe only even slightly clever title and the chorus is a rip off
  13. “Give ‘Em Some”- 4:32 some what
  14. “Dogfight”- 3:22 (Featuring Ghetto Commissionnot good
  15. “Count Down”- 3:59 (Featuring Camouflage & Steady Mobb’nto the end of the album
  16. “Full Blooded”- 4:00 (Featuring Camouflage & Nite Tymeeject
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