Tag Archives: wichita

Lil’ Soliders vs Snoop Dogg: A Tale of the Tape – @crappington

In Kansas the City, we listened to Lil’ Soldiers – Boot Camp.  This was one of only 3 No Limit albums I owned.  In Kansas the State, we listened to Snoop Dogg – Da Game Is To Be Sold, Not To Be Told.  One of 1000 No Limit albums that Chris Trew owned.  On the face of it, these two albums don’t seem to have a lot in common, but they have always been linked in my mind as the two novelty No Limit albums.  Now it is time to scientifically break them down and determine which is the better.

Release Date

Snoop Dogg: August 4, 1998

Lil’ Soldiers: April 27, 1999

Breakdown:  Da Game was released first and was the third album released by one of rap’s biggest names.  Boot Camp came out later and was produced by Adults who by that time had made probably 250 albums.

Winner:

The Adults should have known better.

Number of Tracks

Snoop Dogg: 21

Lil’ Soldiers: 17

Breakdown: 16 of the 21 tracks on Da Game featured other No Limit artists.  Da Game also featured two sequel tracks to more famous early Snoop songs: “Still a G Thang” and “Gin and Juice II” (wikipedia’s notes on the album says Gin and Juice II tends to be a sequel.).  Boot Camp only had 6 songs with other No Limit artists.  The also decided not to create sequels to any classic rap songs.

Winner:

For No Limit, quantity never equaled quality.  Plus, fuck you Snoop for tarnishing the memory of some of my favorite songs in your catalog.

Best Track

Snoop Dogg: Woof

Lil’ Soldiers: School on Lock

Breakdown: Woof freatured Fiend and Mystkal (two of my favorites).  The chorus was : Woof Motherfucker Woof.  Bow Wow Wow Yippie Oh Yippie Ay.  It is also the best example of how Snoops real laid back flow could contrast really well with the more aggro No Limit Rappers.  It also ends with 45 seconds of Bow Wow Wow Yippie Oh Yippie Ays while someone just mutters bitch in the background.  School on Lock doesn’t have any guests.  However it does contain what sounds like the lines: “We be gettin’ snacks while ya’ll are sayin’ jack” and “Meanwhile all the kids in my grade drink lemonade”.  The song also ends with them arguing which grade has the school on lock.  One of the Lil’ soldiers presents a pretty strong case for his grade having the school on lock because, “Our tests are harder than your’s/Our girls are bigger than your’s.”

Winner:

Seriously Snoop! Bow Wow Wow Yippie Oh Yippie Ay!  You had only made 2 albums before this.  You can’t already be out of ideas this early in the game.

Album Art Work

Snoop Dogg:

Lil’ Soldiers:

Breakdown: Da Game is Pen and Pixel art at its best.  Snoop sitting on a throne in front of a giant mansion with his name on it!  Seriously look at that mansion.  It has a rotunda as the entrance.  He also has 2 dogs.  One is clearly a danger because he has to be muzzled even sitting in the front yard, but Snoop rolls so deep even that muzzle is diamond studded.  These things are the definition of having fat stacks.  Boot Camp has a cool action figure/toy theme going on.  I love the bad ass dollar store dinosaur that is trying to take a bite out of the soldiers.  Good thing that Soldier has a nerf sucker dart to defend himself!

Winner:

Seriously, look at that damn thing. He has a diamond studded cane made of gold!

Wikipedia Article Word Count

Snoop Dogg: 994

Lil’ Soldiers: 202

Breakdown.  Everything comes down to the final category and this one is a straight numbers game.  The Snoop article is way more in depth.  You can learn who produced each track, who wrote each track, or which songs were singles.  The Lil’ Soldiers article just has a brief history of how the soldiers released this one album and then disappeared and a track list.  You can also find out that Boot Camp hit 80 on the Billboard R&B chart.  Pretty good for some kids.

Winner:

Seriously no one should spend 1000 words on Da Game.  It is the shittiest album. The album marked the decline of No Limit and the tarnishing of one of raps early greats (Also, thanks Snoop for taking a dump on all those classic hits!) .  So in a stunning 3 – 2 victory, Platinum Diamonds crowns Lil’ Soldiers – Boot Camp as the best of all the No Limit novelty albums

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The Five Faces of Mystikal – @crappington

On the drive between Kansas City and Wichita, we listened to Mystikal’s Unpredictable.  In honor of this solid No Limit Album, I have decided to try to do something no man has done before and predict what Mystikal is thinking based only on his facial expression. This Mystikal is thinking that he shouldn’t have had that second helping of Sweet Potatoes.  He is so full and the Lion’s are getting blown out again.  He always overdoes it on thanksgiving.

This Mystikal is thinking about how tired of hearing you talk about season 3 of the wire he is.

This Mystikal is thinking how happy he is you recognized that his Halloween costume was a penny.

This Mystikal is thinking about the plight of Ai Weiwei in China.  He doesn’t think a man’s family should be threatened because he speaks his mind.

This Mystikal is thinking that everyone is laughing at him because he has a stain on his shirt.

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The Wichita Wingnuts via Photographs – @ChrisTrew

We left Kansas City late because we went to the Negro League Baseball Museum. Then we got to Wichita even latter because we stopped in Lawrence to eat food then took a wrong turn. Then we left Wichita immediately after the final out to sample Stillwater, Oklahoma nightlife. Our time with the Wichita Wingnuts was limited but it was our favorite minor league park of the trip (barely edging Memphis). Photos be coming!

Let’s get this out of the way.

This guy had a radar gun and Chris Carrington said he wants a radar gun really bad and that he would radar everything so can someone please get him a radar gun and see if he is telling the truth? Maybe just get him a broken one and see how many things he points it at?

These kids had a homerun hitting contest but the ball was on a tee and they were facing the wrong direction and to get a “homerun” all you had to do was hit it on top of the net. Kids just don’t understand.

These seats reserved for Oscar the Grouch, Duke the Dumpster and that band with that song “stupid girl.”

Chris Carrington said he loved Wichita (mainly because he had to wear a jacket to guard against the chill) but then this happened and he start cussing it. He’s moody.

I lingered here for about 10 minutes waiting for my souvenir homerun ball to land perfectly in my pocket but it didn’t happen. I have two games left to catch the ultimate souvenir and I can already feel the tears forming.

At least I have this. Here’s me and Spinner, he’s a giant squirrel. There was also some light green snot ghoul who made a brief appearance and kids had to have a bag full of garbage to meet him. That sentence is 100% real.

Hey Wichita – GREAT JOB GUYS.

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